2 March...10:17 AM...exactly one year ago, I received a phone call from my mom saying "she's not suffering any more. she went to sleep forever"...I remember that moment like it was yesterday. I still worked for P&G and I was on my way for a smoke...and then the world came crashing down...And the next moment I remember is watching her thru a freezer glass...so peaceful...
One year later. I thought I finally moved on. But when the priest brought a picture of her, and it all came back to me...my warm tears were running down on my face while I was staring at her picture...every word and every song was passing near my ears, but I couldn't understand anything...I really wasn't trying...I just saw her and I was reminded that I missed her just like yesterday...
And the rest of the weekend I really can't remember much...and I'm proud of that!
But I got to come back to my responsibilities. People to lead, things to do, SAP stocks to correct, processes to implement, offers to review, interview people...stuff...
But I can't help thinking about things that happened in one year and affected me. People that fucked me up and brought me down in pieces. The biggest disappointment of them all. People that past away, very dear to me. I feel like I'm left naked in the freakin' world. No one to guide me as I was raised. No one to tell me how to treat people that hurt me. In lack of guidance, I'm left with one thing...HATE! But in this blurry year, I can see the light at the end of the fuckin tunnel: I'm starting to love somebody. It's not the same, but it's still love...It's not the love I've recently discovered, but then again...it's still love...growing inside of me with every day of the week;and what kind of love? My favourite! the impossible one! :) more complex and complicated then I ever knew! the ultimate challenge of life: to love and to be responsible in the same time...
But, my dear grandparents, this is the final task that you give me to achieve, to be complete...
